An Intimate Encounter with Holiday Anxiety
TL;DR
• Holiday anxiety is common expectations, logistics, and old family roles spike stress.
• Lower the bar: embrace “good enough,” set realistic plans, add tiny daily resets, and ask for support.
• One daily habit beats heroic efforts: a 10–15 minute walk, two minutes of extended-exhale breathing, or a short wind-down before bed.
Let's sit for a moment, just you and me. Yes, that's right, I understand what you're going through. I see your struggle with holiday anxiety and want you to know you're not alone. I'm here to walk you through it, to offer a helping hand.
What is Holiday Anxiety?
We all look forward to holidays, right? The laughter, the family gatherings, the food, the gifts. But there's an unspoken guest on these joyous occasions: anxiety. It sneaks up on us, turning our anticipation into apprehension, our joy into jitteriness. But it doesn't have to be this way. Let's learn how to manage holiday anxiety together.
Recognizing the Signs of Holiday Anxiety
Firstly, let's identify what holiday anxiety looks like. We often don't realize it's happening until it's already consuming us. Do you find your heart racing at the thought of hosting dinner? Do you lie awake at night worried about the presents you haven't wrapped yet? These are signs of holiday anxiety.
Try this: When symptoms pop up, name them (“planning panic,” “hosting jitters”) and take 10 breaths with longer exhales (inhale 4, exhale 6–8).
Why We Experience Holiday Anxiety
Now, why does this happen? Why do the times meant for joy and relaxation often become a source of stress? It's because we place high expectations on ourselves and these occasions. We stress about creating the perfect experience, about pleasing everyone. And in that process, we lose sight of what holidays truly mean: being together.
Try this: Write a one-line holiday intention (e.g., “Connection over perfection”). Use it to decide what to keep, simplify, or skip.
Tips for Handling Holiday Anxiety
Embrace Imperfection
Let's take a breath, shall we? Inhale, exhale. Let's embrace the fact that nothing is perfect, not even holidays. The burnt cookies, the less-than-perfect gifts, and the not-so-grand decorations don't define the holiday spirit. It's about love and connection. When we accept that imperfection is part of life, a huge burden is lifted off our shoulders.
Try this: Before events, choose one thing to do “good-enough,” one to delegate, and one to drop.
Set Realistic Expectations
We're not superheroes, and it's okay. Set attainable goals for the holiday season. If cooking a five-course meal stresses you, why not keep it simple? If holiday shopping gives you the jitters, consider online shopping or giving homemade gifts. You define your holidays, remember that.
Try this: Weekly plan: one “must-do,” one “maybe,” one “skip.” Script: “Thanks for inviting me, I’m at capacity this week.”
Practice Self-Care
With all the holiday hustle and bustle, don't forget about yourself. Taking care of your mental and physical well-being is paramount. So, schedule some 'me-time.' Read a book, meditate, walk, and do whatever makes you feel relaxed. Remember, you can only care for others if you're well.
Try this: Nightly wind-down: dim lights, write three lines (what happened, what matters tomorrow, what can wait), then 10 slow breaths.
Seek Support
This is a big one, and it's okay to need it. Reach out to someone you trust, and share your feelings. If your holiday anxiety feels overwhelming, seek professional help. Remember, it's okay to ask for help. We all need a supportive shoulder now and then.
Try this: Send one honest text today (“Feeling holiday-amped—can we do a 5-minute check-in?”). If anxiety is disrupting sleep, mood, or work, book one consult.
Holiday anxiety is real, and you don’t have to carry it alone. Many people feel this swirl of pressure and tenderness at the same time. Small, steady steps help: embrace good-enough, set honest limits, take care of your body, and ask for support when you need it.
The heart of this season is connection, not perfection. Let the moments be simple. Notice what feels warm and meaningful, even if the plan changes. Those ordinary, imperfect moments are the ones that tend to stick.
To find out more about my services, click here: Anxiety Therapy
FAQ
Why does my anxiety spike around family gatherings?
Old roles (fixer, peacemaker, over-achiever) and sensory overload can flip your system into high alert. Give yourself a new 10-minute role (dish helper, tea runner, kid buddy) and take a brief reset (walk, two-minute breath) before re-entering.
What’s one quick way to calm down during a crowded event?
Step outside or to a quiet corner for two minutes: inhale 4, exhale 6–8 (10 breaths). Unclench jaw, drop shoulders, soften belly. Name five things you see to re-anchor.
How can I say no without guilt during the holidays?
Lead with appreciation + clarity + option: “Thanks for thinking of me. I can’t host this year, but I can bring dessert.” Boundaries protect the parts of the season you value most.
About the Author
Taylor Garff, M.Coun, LCPC, CMHC, LPC, is a licensed therapist with over 10 years of experience helping adults manage anxiety, overwhelm, and identity challenges. He is certified in HeartMath, Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP), and breathwork facilitation. Taylor is the founder of Inner Heart Therapy, where he provides online therapy across multiple states.
Last reviewed: November 5, 2025 by Taylor Garff, M.Coun, LCPC, CMHC, LPC
